Day 40: Rememberance

The communication:
Tabata
Pushups
bench Jumps
Hanging Leg
Cinder block Squats
Pullups (small Band)
Burpees

The Equipment:

Not much to say today about the workout. Its become second nature for me to muscle through it and get it done. I've recently taken to mindlessly working through each exercise while planning the rest of my day out, going into each project and reviewing the night before and the scenario I'd expect to walk into when I get to work. It has made the time pass and has helped me to see past the physical fatigue each day and makes the time go by faster. Today was different though. Today I replayed a myriad of things that occured in the past week that troubled me on THIS day. Lets flash back:

Saturday night: I serving at the restaurant and busy. I'm waiting on a table with a kid probably 17-18; its his birthday. I overhear talking about September 11th and war and other things, though what sticks in my mind is his commentary about how September 11th was a political ploy and how ultra right wing conservatives just wanted to go to war... so on and such. My blood boiled with each breath this child made simply because he was 5-6 years old when it happened and made obvious assumptions about that day and the days thereafter. It really got under my skin about how arrogant he could be not knowing how it felt to watch the news and see the dramatic scene unfold. He didn't listen to newscasters tell the general public that trains were being targeted, having family that worked there. There was no absolute fear or panic in his heart, no intimidation and no hate for what happened. He had no sense of alone or terror. They don't show those types of scenes on Nick Jr.

I also know he didn't know anyone in NYC. People that did don't talk like that.

I know where I was. I remember each conversation I had; I still see the tears, hear the screams and feel the fear in the faces and voices of those I talked to. It was a day that turned a nation on its head. F**k you kid for thinking it was all rainbows and roses.


Ahead to last night:

I'd read a number of posts from friends in the military recanting their stories about 9-11 and the weeks following and started to recall the overwhelming sense of patriotic pride the nation had for months to follow. There was actually a day in time when I went to a number of stores, trying to buy an American flag... they were all sold out. Where did that sense of togetherness go? Together we moved forward, together we rebuilt a nation. People from 11 years ago would be ashamed of our efforts to do the same now.

I know this has nothing to do with my workout, but it is relevant. This morning after my exercises, I remembered who I was just 40 workouts ago and how much I have changed in that short time. Impressed with my accomplishments, I decided to try and fit into a large button down, not an extra large. I reached into my closet and removed a green shirt from the rack. I was surprised to have it fit, a true realization to me that I am still moving in the right direction. I took one look in the mirror ... it was the exact shirt I wore on that day. The surprise took my breath away for a moment and I quietly and respectfully changed into something more appropriate. I'll celebrate in quiet reverence, thank you.

Break for second job...

And now I've lost my train of thought. I know I had a great tie in to my workout and remembering back and such and can't fathom what it was. Damn you work!!! I do know I wanted to reiterate a giant F**k you kid to the boy without a clue at my table on Saturday. Nothing else is coming back to me though.

 Anyway, today symbolizes so much for me. A day to remember who I was 11 years ago, 40 days ago and to also remember who I am today and to compare them all and ensure that a piece of each person stays with me as I travel forward into the next chapter. Oh yeah, fall is apparently sneaking its head out lately too because its friggin' FREEZING OUT when I'm doing these exercises this week, and its making the box jumps hard with the boys tucked away inside my stomach.  So tonight, no boom. Instead I leave you in silence, a moment for reflection and remembrance..................................................................................................